Eclipse 2023

I was still rubbing the sleep out of my eyes when I suddenly remembered the eclipse was going to be at maximum that morning! I got on my phone to Google the time for us. I looked up from my phone to see my mom sitting out front looking up at the sun!

She had ordered some of those special glasses to observe it safely with (of course). So I made sure to bring mine as I grabbed my chair to go join her. Being north Texas we had to find a place out of the wind, but at least there weren’t any clouds!

I tried but couldn’t get a good photograph of it.

It was great to share the experience with my mom. Her love of the natural world was an early influence on me. We talked for awhile as the moon slowly traversed across face of the sun.

The daylight was getting dimmer even though it was the middle of a cloudless day. She noticed the local birds were calling out to each like it was getting close to sunset.

Since we sat there for awhile looking up for a few minutes at a time over the span of a couple of hours, we were able to perceive the relative motions of the sun, moon, and earth.

I’m really looking forward to the Total eclipse coming 4/8/24. Hope to see you there!

Pen to paper

I love the feeling of a well crafted modern pen gliding exactly where I want it to. Well as close an approximation to “exact” as my nerves and muscles have devolved to. But that’s life, right? So shaky or not, it still feels good, even if the results aren’t exactly what I’d like them to be. Being in cursive is enough of a security block that 1/2 the population couldn’t read what I wrote anyway!

That’s part of what I miss when I type instead of write. Although I type faster than when I write in cursive, my accuracy typing has slipped a bit over the years. I want to get to accurate and reliable speech-to-text transcription, but it costs more than I’m willing to pay. So far. But that isn’t pen to paper either!

When I was on the road, I kept a journal, but also planned out what my travel plans were going to be. Now I have a record of that whole process.

I don’t get a lot done, because I don’t get started. I don’t put pen to paper.

The illusion of free will

I had two paragraphs here at the beginning, but they were “unretrievable” by the app. I like to give context. Maybe too much.

I had read a blog about choosing to heal. I agree with their point, but I’m also opinionated about Free Will. So choosing is a “trigger” word for me. I was driving to New Mexico and dictated the original version.

Now I’m sitting in my hotel room editing and wanted to go ahead and publish.

When I was a teenager, I read about Albert Einstein‘s thought experiments. He came up with his insights about the universe while thinking about the implications of things moving and lights shining. I had read something about free will and it got me thinking what would happen if we could turn back Time like rewinding a movie?

So for a good thought experiment you need a simple premise. Let’s say you’re at an ice cream shop and before you are 30-onederful flavors. Which one will you choose? That doesn’t matter. What does it mean if free will is real? That’s what matters.

It means I could’ve chosen any flavor. I am free to choose. I have agency.

So if I was able to turn back time to just before I chose say Mint Chip, it should be possible for me to choose Butter Pecan this time because the Agency that chooses hasn’t made the choice yet.

But why would I? If everything else is the same, I would make the same choice. So if I’m always going to choose Mint Chip, I’m destined to. I feel like I could choose something different, but it’s always going to be Mint Chip. No choice. No free will.

Also if everything else is just following the same physical laws as everything, including me, So where does this Agency come in with FreeWill? It’s not there. It’s an illusion. It just seems like it, it just appears this way, because of the way our human brains work.

Another nail in the coffin for Free Will is the scientific evidence collected that shows many of your decisions are made, and detectable by others, before you consciously make them. A human brain makes decisions then the conscious mind becomes aware of it.

The implications of the acceptance that FreeWill is an illusion are far-reaching. It would impact many of our social institutions with a new wave of compassion. Everyone does the best they can. Most of the differences between people come down to things beyond their control.

If someone needs help they should get it. The ones with the most money should pay for most of it. That’s humanity.

Prisoners are not getting the punishment they deserve. They are getting much worse. They should be seen as humans that are dangerous to themselves and others. Their lives should be respectfully restricted until we figure out what’s wrong and fix it.

The Lord hath Spoken!

Since Fresno State lost, I’ll be heading to Fresno arriving Friday, Oct 13. Yes. Friday the 13th! If the Lord had blessed the Bulldogs w/ a victory, I would be making plans for the upcoming Utah State game. Now? Who cares now! 😭 National ranking gone. Winning streak gone!

So be it.

Instead I will be stopping at or near casinos on the way to Fresno, but mostly just pit stops on the way to get my stuff. And see if I can talk to my ex and/or her father to get the ball rolling so I can be out of debt. Not sure about that idea yet.

Tomorrow I want to look around Wyoming. I have some Google Map shortcuts I wang to travel to.

Day 1

I started out this morning expecting to be on the road by noon. It was 4:30. 🤦‍♂️

I hate driving at night. I wonder if I can get something that wouldn’t blind me with oncoming headlights? Enhance night vision, but not too much!

I’m relaxing in my room. 2nd floor. Brought up my backpack and electrical cords (grocery type) bag. Like a book bag. Also I lugged up my Jackery to charge and my overnight bag. I need a real suitcase.

It’s going to be in the 30s overnight in Laramie! I brought my Fresno State coat. I have a room booked in Centennial. I read a James Michener book Centennial. I thought that was in South Dakota? I’ll have to look!

I just discovered some saved Google Maps locations. As I remember it: My Dad was looking at Google Maps overhead views of his family home/farm in Wyoming.

So I’m going to spend a day in Centennial, see what I can find out about family history stuff. Maybe get up to Wind River.

$249 for a pair of Smartglasses https://solosglasses.com/collections/eyeglasses-collection/products/argon-a-smartglasses-airgo3-3 Amazing sound, answers calls, connect to Chat GPT. Has a translator. You can watch Mexican Spanish Language novellas and it will translate. If I was a teacher…

Road Trip is Go!

Next t step is getting my car in travel ready. I want:

Oil change

4 adequate tires for mostly freeway driving. 30 mph dirt road capable. Last 10,000-50,000 miles or 1 year more.

Fix the door latch with something better than duct tape

Check transmission fluid

🤞Fix the windshield wiper fluid pump

Check main battery.

Less than $1500

After that is done, I can go!

I have to be back in Abilene by late October for dental work.

So. I may not get to the Wyoming game. Car has to be ready, but eclipse and Utah State game are definitely on the map. From there? TBD

Road trip idea

Fresno State Football is ranked again! They will be playing the Cowboys @Wyoming, Laramie, WY on 10/7. Then at @UtateState, Logan, UT

No, they’re the Utah State Aggies. The Utes play for Utah. But that’s not all!

The Annular Eclipse of 2023 will occur over North America. This is a good warm up for the Total Eclipse coming 4/8/24. Can’t wait to share that one with family and friends!

So I’m going to share my experience as if it was a blog that I’d try to live off of. Monetize it. Why not? 😉 The American way!

What’s that? I don’t know anything about making money off of a blog? True. That’s why god invented AI. To help me. I’m going to tell my story. I think I’ve lived an interesting life. I’m going to try to get it as close to correct as possible. Then record it. To make a McLaughlin Museum.

Then put a Disneylandish merchandise opportunity at the end of it. Creatively make money. Instead of slavishly.

Rorschach’s Journal

I love The Watchmen. The graphic novel, the movie, and the Series. Each in their way.

I rented the Ultimate Cut on VUDU. It has the comic within the comic horror story Black something or other. Reminds me of Heavy Metal from 80s.

Ah! Black Freighter! The Director’s Cut is definitely faster paced. This one, Ultimate Cut is closer to source material.

Anyway

The movie was my first introduction to the story. Loved the style. Loved the music. If you were alive in the 80s, this alternate reality is self-consistent. It didn’t happen, but it could have. At least within superhero-allowed universes. You have to give up a bit of reality, plausible deniability, to really get into a story. Especially when it gets into time, how the past led to the present, which leads to the future. I

Anyway, back to the movie. I’ve decided to write every day. Something. I won’t share everything, but I’ll try to be more bloggy. I can see comments. I’ll respond to comments and keep them between us, unless we want to share them to stimulate more conversation.

So I’ll share what I’m working on. Or at least what I’m thinking about. October! The BEST time to be a teacher.

Anyway

“There is good, and there is evil. And evil must be punished. In this I will not compromise.” -Rorschach from The Watchmen

I’ll meet you 1/2 way!

Look, I get it. I would be frustrated too if I was talking to someone who thought they were always right. But I am.

I’m always right. Until I’m wrong. Then I get corrected. Then I’m right again!

Anything we disagree about, I’ll meet you 1/2 way. But if I say, “Wanna bet?” I think you are wrong and I’m right. So much so that I’m willing to put my money where my mouth is.

I started writing about how awful the emotion Shame is. But it’s not ready for publication. 💩

Thank you to my mother for providing the landing spot I needed! I’ve spent enough time in this cave! Time to start planning my return to California.

Her faith in her Prodigal Son, 😉 has produced the win/win for us. I get debt free, she makes money. Win/win!

I’m staying in Texas until the Total Solar Eclipse on April 8, 2024. Hope to see you there!

My mom bought glasses for the upcoming eclipse! It’s going to be on 10/14/2023. It’ll be a good practice run for me to plan for 4/8/24.

Thoughts while I go to sleep?

I’ve been trying to decide what I want to write about. Or more accurately, what I should write about. Whenever I think about writing I get stuck trying to choose one thing.

It seems pointless. What do I want to accomplish by writing? Am I looking to convince others to what I believe to be true? Do I just want to entertain? Am I writing for myself or for others? So, I end up writing nothing.

So, tonight as I lay here in bed in my one bedroom apartment I want to write about my life so far. I’m dictating this into my phone. For several months now I’ve had a hard time getting to sleep. This has never been a problem for me before. I suspect it’s because it’s been a long time since my life has been stable.

I’m waiting for my divorce to be final. It’s been a year and a half since my wife filed. While it’s been almost a year since we agreed on the specifics, there’s been a paperwork snafu at the courthouse which has prolonged this ordeal. In turn this continuation of the limbo I’ve been living in has put me in a precarious financial position. I haven’t been able to plan for the future. I live month to month. So I think the stress of this uncertainty contributes to my difficulty getting a good night’s sleep.

I’m 60 years old. I spend a lot of time wondering what’s going to end up killing me. It’ll most likely be some kind of cancer. I don’t want it to be some kind of stupid accident. But then again, I don’t want a long drawn out illness either. If I’m lucky I’ve probably got about 20 years left. What will those 20 years be like?

I can already tell that I don’t think as well as I used to. I avoid complex decision making. I have the same memory problems that people that are aging are prone to. But I also have some cognitive issues when it comes to motivation to take care of basic needs.

For instance, it’s a major undertaking to just do the dishes, sweep the floors, or put away laundry. It’s just me here and I don’t really care about them. Except of course when someone wants to come over and visit and then I’m embarrassed by it.

John Cougar Mellencamp wrote in Jack and Diane, “…Life goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone.” That’s how I’m feeling nowadays. I can hear the objections from others, but for me, life is getting monotonous.

I believe I’ve already fulfilled my life’s purpose. Procreation. The purpose of life is to pass on your genetics to the next generation. If you fail to procreate, you failed in life. You failed the generations that led up to you. I don’t believe in life after death. I believe in death after death.

The only thing about me that has a chance of surviving my death is my DNA. In 100 years there won’t be any trace of me left. I will be like the great majority of people who have lived and died over the last 100,000 years. One of the nameless billions of individuals that have existed on this Earth.

So if I have 20 years left what do they hold for me? It looks to me now that it will be pretty bleak. Climate change is a problem that we’re only just now starting to address. We lost precious time because of the denial of politicians under the influence of corporations that would lose money if we made the necessary changes to avert the worst of it.

In the United States, one of our major political parties wants to usher in a new era of Fascism. With the changing demographics of our country, the republican party is becoming a minority party. So wherever they can, they are gaming the system in order to stay in power, and rule as a minority. The next election in 2024 will be the most consequential in our nation’s history. If Donald Trump somehow gets to the White House, our democracy will come to an end. But it may be that, regardless of who wins the White House, our nation will become embroiled in a Civil War.

I’m not a prophet. I don’t have a crystal ball. So of course, my pessimistic outlook may be completely wrong. But this is what I believe and it keeps me up at night.