You brought this on yourself

The realization I’m seeing and hearing on the left is, stunned shock. They voted him in anyway?

Sure the ultra-MAGA are embarrassing to everyone else but themselves , but it wasn’t them who put Trump back in power. It was a two-parter.

First it was all of the “mainstream” conservatives who heard what crimes Trump had been convicted of and accused of (now never to be adjudicated and tried for) but were ok with it. They were ok with his friendship and fawning of other autocrats.

In fact with the US Supreme Court being a “Conservative” lock for the next 30+ years, and their past decision that a president can’t be held criminally liable for “official” acts, he will almost certainly commit atrocities. He will push his authority bigly. He will provoke confrontation.

He’s said he will pardon the convicted and sentenced J6th Insurrectionists. Bannon, Proud Boys, and the like are gearing up and preparing. Protests. Like you’ve never seen.

While Trump got a majority of the popular VOTE, he doesn’t have above 50% approval ratings. He doesn’t have the support of the majority of Americans. So there is a large group of left-leaning voters who are looking at their fellow citizens in disbelief.

First they look at their friends and family on the right and can’t believe they voted for him knowing what he is going to do. And they’re ok with it!

Second they look at the millions of people who voted for Biden, but couldn’t muster the urgency to get up and do it again for Harris. Knowing what Trump’s going to do!

I thought I’d be mad. Maybe later. Now I’m mostly sad that my fellow Americans have gotten it so wrong. Surely they’re somehow uninformed of what a monster he is. They couldn’t be ok with that too? Or do they really want a king?

Because that’s what they’re going to get. We’ve made the biggest mistake (hopefully) of our lifetime. I’ll be hear to say I Told You So!

Trump loves to tell the story of The Woman and The Snake. Look him up on YouTube. He LOVES to tell that story. Why? The punchline, “You knew I was a snake when you took me in!” His eyes shine with delight as he gets to it. He is the snake. He’s back!

Staying up way too late!

What are you doing this evening?

It’s almost 3:00am locally. I could say I was staying up to watch the Polaris Dawn liftoff. At least that would be a good excuse.

But I don’t need to justify staying up late anymore! It’s such a knee-jerk thoughtless reaction to, “Why are you awake at 3:00 am?”

Because I can be!

I’ll be going to sleep in a bit. I had started a response to another prompt. Never finished it. But there were some good ideas percolating and knocking around other ideas.

Later tonight is the (first and probably only) debate between Harris and Trump 2024. My green crystal magic 8-ball says:

If she tries and fails to land a haymaker, that could cost her. She doesn’t want to overplay her hand.

If he tries and fails to belittle her or if she can make him seem old and doddering, she’s got a chance.

If Trump manages to claim with a straight face, any kind of victory, he’ll inflate it into a complete victory. The likes of which no one has ever seen.

‘I beat her in the debate. Everyone is saying it. You’re going to tell me I lost the election after I killed her in that debate? No way!

Way.

Good night!

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Thoughts while I go to sleep?

I’ve been trying to decide what I want to write about. Or more accurately, what I should write about. Whenever I think about writing I get stuck trying to choose one thing.

It seems pointless. What do I want to accomplish by writing? Am I looking to convince others to what I believe to be true? Do I just want to entertain? Am I writing for myself or for others? So, I end up writing nothing.

So, tonight as I lay here in bed in my one bedroom apartment I want to write about my life so far. I’m dictating this into my phone. For several months now I’ve had a hard time getting to sleep. This has never been a problem for me before. I suspect it’s because it’s been a long time since my life has been stable.

I’m waiting for my divorce to be final. It’s been a year and a half since my wife filed. While it’s been almost a year since we agreed on the specifics, there’s been a paperwork snafu at the courthouse which has prolonged this ordeal. In turn this continuation of the limbo I’ve been living in has put me in a precarious financial position. I haven’t been able to plan for the future. I live month to month. So I think the stress of this uncertainty contributes to my difficulty getting a good night’s sleep.

I’m 60 years old. I spend a lot of time wondering what’s going to end up killing me. It’ll most likely be some kind of cancer. I don’t want it to be some kind of stupid accident. But then again, I don’t want a long drawn out illness either. If I’m lucky I’ve probably got about 20 years left. What will those 20 years be like?

I can already tell that I don’t think as well as I used to. I avoid complex decision making. I have the same memory problems that people that are aging are prone to. But I also have some cognitive issues when it comes to motivation to take care of basic needs.

For instance, it’s a major undertaking to just do the dishes, sweep the floors, or put away laundry. It’s just me here and I don’t really care about them. Except of course when someone wants to come over and visit and then I’m embarrassed by it.

John Cougar Mellencamp wrote in Jack and Diane, “…Life goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone.” That’s how I’m feeling nowadays. I can hear the objections from others, but for me, life is getting monotonous.

I believe I’ve already fulfilled my life’s purpose. Procreation. The purpose of life is to pass on your genetics to the next generation. If you fail to procreate, you failed in life. You failed the generations that led up to you. I don’t believe in life after death. I believe in death after death.

The only thing about me that has a chance of surviving my death is my DNA. In 100 years there won’t be any trace of me left. I will be like the great majority of people who have lived and died over the last 100,000 years. One of the nameless billions of individuals that have existed on this Earth.

So if I have 20 years left what do they hold for me? It looks to me now that it will be pretty bleak. Climate change is a problem that we’re only just now starting to address. We lost precious time because of the denial of politicians under the influence of corporations that would lose money if we made the necessary changes to avert the worst of it.

In the United States, one of our major political parties wants to usher in a new era of Fascism. With the changing demographics of our country, the republican party is becoming a minority party. So wherever they can, they are gaming the system in order to stay in power, and rule as a minority. The next election in 2024 will be the most consequential in our nation’s history. If Donald Trump somehow gets to the White House, our democracy will come to an end. But it may be that, regardless of who wins the White House, our nation will become embroiled in a Civil War.

I’m not a prophet. I don’t have a crystal ball. So of course, my pessimistic outlook may be completely wrong. But this is what I believe and it keeps me up at night.

Inspired by Derek

Well I’ve finally entered the 21st century, 11 years late. I feel like I need an outlet for my thoughts. I don’t get to talk to people about politics, religion, and such. I don’t have much experience with blogs. I know of them, but haven’t followed any.

I plan on writing about what I think and feel. Sort of treating this as a diary that I’m sharing with the world.

At this moment I’m at one of my son’s chess tournaments. He loves playing in these, but doesn’t really practice much. He likes the competition and camaraderie of being on a team. If I was more focused on my children’s success I would spend more time coaching and making him practice. But I let my kids find their own way. If I was more convinced that I knew what was best for them I’d take a firmer stand.

I spend a lot of time looking for news, photos or videos of my dead son-in-law Derek. He died Dec. 6th, 2010 a day before his first son was born. He was shot in the head by a sniper in Sangin, Afghanistan. It’s the worst tragedy I’ve had to deal with. I hope that he didn’t suffer. But his absence has left a huge hole in the fabric of the lives of the people that new him. The background picture of my phone is of him and my daughter smiling at the camera. What every father wants for his daughter is for her to meet and marry someone who makes them happy. Someone that they can build a life with and share themselves with. Someone who helps them become a better person. He was all of that and more for Kait. The sense of loss I have for what should have been has been debilitating for me.

Derek is the inspiration for this. One night after talking with him, I can’t remember the details of the conversation, he said, “You should write a book!” At first I thought he was pulling my leg, but he insisted I should. For months after that I wondered what would I write? What about our conversations did he enjoy? Was he saying it just to make points with his father-in-law? But after his death, I read a quote of his. I don’t know if it originated with him but he said, “Don’t look down on a man unless you’re offering your hand to help him up.” He was a natural leader by all accounts of the people that new him. He inspired people to do more. So I trust that he wanted me to do something with these thoughts that rattle inside my head. I don’t think he would agree with a lot of what I want to say, but as the saying goes, he’d fight to death for my right to say it. And as is typical of Derek, he didn’t just say it, he did it.